Hi, I’m Chris and I’m a minister…and I have doubts.
Some days I have doubts about faith. Some days I have doubts about the church. Some days I have doubts about my calling. Some days I have doubts about humanity.
For years, I thought that in order to truly be a person of faith you had to have NO DOUBTS.
There is this idea in the faith community that if you have doubts, it means that you don’t believe enough, or that Satan is attacking you, or that you need to ask forgiveness for your sins.
I have to be honest, the times in my life I have grown in my faith the most, the times that I have felt closest to God are the times that I had doubt.
Doubt makes me wrestle with my faith. Doubt makes me wrestle with my beliefs. Doubts leads me to own my faith more than I ever have before.
Doubt isn’t a lack of faith or a hindrance, but rather doubt makes us swim deeper into the water of faith.
There is this odd belief that somehow Christians have to have it all figured out, that we have all the answers, that we have never doubted. I am here to tell you that this is false. We all are still walking the journey of faith, we all have questions, and we have doubts.
When I have had doubts, instead of walking away from the church or faith, I ran to it. I knew that it was through the community of faith that God would grow deeper faith within me.
So let me encourage you that if you have doubts, it is a good thing as long as you are willing to wrestle with them. Find a community of faith or a friend in the faith to walk alongside you and wrestle with you, and you might just find that your faith is stronger because of doubt.
About 2 years ago, I came in from my workshop to find that my dog, Shalom, had destroyed my Bible. As you can see from the picture, she must have really had fun with it. I captioned this picture: "How would you react if you found your Bible like this? Would you be completely lost or angry? It is good to be reminded that the Bible is not God, but it is a very important way that we better understand and know God. Now, to find a new Bible..."
I was sad because I had so many notes in that Bible, but it challenged me to start anew on scriptures that I was just relying on old notes for.
So my challenge to you is to own your faith. Ask the questions that have been stirring in your heart. Do your own research and study. Read different translations.
But most of all, do it with others around you doing the same thing; for this is what the Christian faith is all about: People wrestling with God and the world in order to partner with God to redeem the world.
God is big enough for your questions and doubts and destroyed Bibles. -Chris